Today’s blurb has caught World Cup fever and demands to be known for at least the next month as the Rumour Milla
Beating about the bush has got a bad press over the years and that is both irritating and unjust. The phrase derives from bear hunting, and the Mill would like to see you take on a bear without first beating about the bush if you think you’re hard enough. Go on, don’t thrash the shrubbery with sticks to flush the beasts out, just barge straight into the woods — their turf – and take them on like a man. An honourable, stupid, dead man. Then the Mill will give the thicket a good thumping, watch the bloated grizzly dash out and shoot it down with one of those old-fangled elephant guns that looks a little like a trumpet and were possibly made by Acme. And then we shall eat, drink and point at your gallant corpse and laugh. Well done.
Now that that’s settled, let us ponder further hunting news. Spartak Moscow, of all clubs, are stalking twinkle-footed Celtic winger Aiden McGeady, who is said to be seeking an intriguing new challenge, such as how to spend an annual salary in excess of £3m. One winger to whom he should not turn for advice is Marseille’s Hatem Ben Arfa, who the Mill remembers as the man who complained bitterly about being owed some £90,000 by his previous club, Lyon, only for it to emerge that he had forgotten the cheque in his locker.
In fairness to the lad, who among us can truly say we have never mislaid a cheque for 90 grand? Anyway, none of that tomfoolery will put off David Moyes, who wants to bring Ben Arfa to Everton.
Moyes is also keeping a beady eye on Craig Bellamy but, should he decide to sign him, will have to fight off competition from Cardiff City. Or maybe he won’t, since, in fairness, that’s really not very strong competition.
Another day, another centre-back linked to Arsenal. This time it’s Lorient’s Laurent Koscielny. And the keeper being linked with the Gunners today is Coventry’s Keiren Westwood.
Arsène Wenger is also said to be tracking Bolton’s Gary Cahill. Harry Redknapp insists he, by contrast, is not, so he probably is. Both those managers are believed to be keen on Joe Kinnear’s old chum Charles N’Zogbia, but neither are willing to match Birmingham’s imminent £10m bid. Similarly, the Mill is confident that no one will match Newcastle’s £3m bid for Manchester City’s Nedum Onuoha.
Will Paul Ince have any money with which to make bids? Probably not, but at least he’ll have a job if the word about him taking the Portsmouth gig is true.
Finally, Arsenal hardballing over Eduardo may lead Lyon to sign Rennes striker Jimmy Briand instead. And that could pave the way for West Ham to nab the Croatia international, though that sprightly young Yakubu remains their top target.
EvertonManchester CityCelticArsenalPaul Doyleguardian.co.uk
